I remember a couple of moths ago hav a complete break down to a good friends of mine and tellin her how tire di was of fightin everything. my friends my family my life. I was so tired and ready to give in. To be someone i used to be. A person i look back on and think what the hell was i doing. but its defantily an easyier route to hide from watever it your scared of by any means.
God no way could i go back to that ever again. Its scary to event think about it. I was scared of everything and havin panic attacks every two seconds. I can thank my three stars for saving me for myself. For bringin me into a life i would never have even known if it wasnt for them. Nor would i know the amount i do now and the life lessons have defantily made my life easyier. The hardest lesson to learn was that somethings only enter your life for a while teach you what you need and then have to leave or take a less personal role in your life. You cant fight change its too exausting. thank god i leaarnt that.
My life is so good right now. I passed my exams and can do my a levels. I have amazing friends..i know who i am and what i want to be. which is so importent to me. Mos tof all im happy which has always been my main goal.
Despite the fact ive lost a good friend recently i know its out of my control. People come back to you when there ready or not at all. Let them waste their time hating you they'll soon realise what a waste of energy it is.
the worst type of fightin though is when your fighting something that isnt there anymore. Youget used tto the routine of pain or fighting that when it stops. you don't qite know what to do. So you carry on fighting...but you can't beat something that isnt their.
I have nothing to fight anymore.